The Room

"You're tearing me APART Lisa!" - Johnny (Tommy Wiseau) gives it all he's got.


It’s hard to make something that’s misguided in almost every aspect of production. Usually there’s something that just goes ‘right’, a little nugget of production that just works, despite everyone’s best efforts to make sure that it doesn’t. I’ve seen two films to date that achieve this rare feat. One is the forever-in-the-back-of-my-mind ‘Manos: The Hands of Fate’ and the other is now ‘The Room’.

I’m a little late to ‘The Room’ as I suspect most people who see the film will be. This little film, released in 2003 has since grown on with a ‘Shawshank Redemption’ like word of mouth campaign. Once you’ve seen it it’s easy to see why. The film is a remarkable achievement, a cornucopia of failure. Whether it’s the writing, directing or of course the Acting, nothing ‘works’. It’s a perfect storm of defeat.

As a quick example, I’ve seen the film 3 times now but am still perplexed as to what room the title is referring to. Sure the film takes place mostly in a Room, or a series of rooms, but the title leads us to believe that there’s something mysterious going on there, not unlike something from ‘The Twilight Zone’. For that matter it’s not really one ‘Room’ per se. We’re just in a room a lot of the time because Lisa doesn’t seem to do anything that bitch about Johnny and drink wine (We do learn that she’s in the ‘Computer Business’ though any more information than that is in danger of being character development, and is disregarded).

Writer/Director/Producer/Star Tommy Wiseau plays Johnny. Living in San Francisco he’s a banker of some vaguely European origin (I still don’t know where that accent is from – and Wiseau himself isn’t telling). He lives with Lisa, his soon to be Wife. It’s also mandatory that everyone in the film describes her as “Beautiful”. She isn’t. Now I’m not going to put down someone for their looks, that certainly isn’t fair. But it wouldn’t go mentioned if not for the fact that simply every character in the film has to comment on her, so much so that it makes you think they’re referring to some off screen character that just happens to share the same name. Lisa also happens to be having an affair with Johnny’s best friend Mark, an Owen Wilson looking fella with a rocking beard. Also of note is Johnny and Lisa’s neighbour Denny who has a creepy fascination with the couple, to the point of following them up to bed when they’ve made it very clear they’re about to have sex. Just one revelation about the character is that at one point Johnny was planning to adopt him (WHAT!) but instead he’s just paying his rent until he graduates from College. For the record it’s really not clear how old he is. He looks like he should be in College but acts like he’s still in High School. Oh and Denny deals drugs. Can’t forget that important plot development that comes out of nowhere.

If you think that I’m taking a while to get to the plot of ‘The Room’ then you can keep waiting. The film has a blatant disregard for things like Plot or Character and instead goes by its own rules. An act which serves to remind you just how important things like Plot and Character are. Still, it’s all done so earnestly; there’s no feeling that the cast are in on the joke. They just deliver the lines they’re given and they do their best with them. Though as you’ll see even that isn’t good enough.

One of the many many things wrong with ‘The Room’ is that Wiseau seemingly can’t see a character without greeting them with the salutation “Oh Hi...” At one point he even says it to a Dog (“Oh Hi Doggie”). People entering a room (THE ROOM!) almost serves as a constant surprise to Wiseau, as if he expects to go throughout his Day without ever seeing another person.

Still, at the end of all this all I can tell you is that ‘The Room’ cannot really be seen. It must be experienced. The plethora of Youtube clips don’t prepare you for the insanity on display. Whether it’s just the inexplicable decision to shoot the Roof scenes via Green Screen instead of you know...on a Roof or the weird bone that protrudes from Lisa’s neck for a while. I will say this; the film manages to draw you in. You think about it for days afterwards, I’ve started countless conversations with “Oh hi...”, complete with Wiseau accent and then laughed to myself with no one else knowing why. 'The Room' consumes you. I want to show it to all of my friends to make sure I’m not experiencing some kind of fever dream where I’m haunted by a man who looks like a cross between Jean Claude Van Damme, Victor Schiavelli and with hair by Michael Bolton.

Now that I’ve had ‘The Room’ in my life, I can’t imagine a time without it.

Bonus clip: Lisa's Beauty